I have no plan to write
Everyday
But I do have a plan
To keep writing
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Thinking today
About what I want to do
And realizing that
I’m finding reasons not to
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Finding someone
To share my life with
Has always been my priority
And at 72, I’m still looking
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Our concept of love
Is ever-shifting
And becomes more so
As we age
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I used to have a mojo
But I apparently misplaced it
Somewhere along the road
To my current uncertainty
There is not a day that goes by
When I’m not thinking about others
And I suppose it will remain that way
As the pain has never really left
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There is not a day that goes by
When I’m not aware of this insidious disease
That has invaded my body
And changed everything
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There is not a day that goes by
When I don’t think about
How lonely I am
In a place they call Paradise
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There is not a day that goes by
When I’m not thinking about
My relationship with my gal
And hoping we can make it work
Learning to Live Again is my biggest project and I’ve yet to see its end. Here again is a poem from that unfinished and unpublished work.
I’ve always felt
That life is about love and fear
And right now I live in fear
And without love
I know that I am loved
But I can’t return it
And for me
That is debilitating
So I need to understand love
In ways I haven’t really explored
Even though I had learned to love again
And found a love that still inhabits me
I have always looked at love
As a physical, passionate state
And that is missing right now
And maybe from now on
I need the touch of someone I love
As I stroke her hair
Kiss her gently
And take her softly to me
I had it
Lost it
And continue to suffer
Without it
Is learning to live again
Learning to live without love
Or learning to redefine love
In the age of the aged
I haven’t given up
I just don’t know
But I’m completely open
To the answers
I never saw it coming
After all those years
And now my guitar’s strumming
While I wipe away my tears
I don’t know how I’ll make it
Without her by my side
And though I’ll try to fake it
My soul is opened wide
CHORUS: Why now…why me
How the hell…I didn’t see
Took me down…suddenly
But I can…guarantee
This ain’t… the end of me
I never saw it coming
Though the plan was in the air
And though you caught me humming
I will fight off the despair
I know It need to make it
Of that I have no doubt
And though you tried to take it
I’ll find the best way out
CHORUS
Instrumental verse
CHORUS
I never saw it coming
Was I blind to it all
But I won’t be succumbing
To depression’s call
For I know that I will make it
Though thoughts of her remain
I’ll find my path and stake it
To sing this song’s refrain
CHORUS
Every year, I write a birthday poem. This year, I’ve written some random thoughts I want to share with you.
I feel alone
But I’m not lonely
I feel sad
But I’m not depressed
I feel tired
But I’m not weak
I feel hurt
But I don’t feel pain
I feel calm
But I’m not at peace
I feel pensive
But I’m forgetful
I feel empty
But my life is full
I feel fortunate
But I don’t feel blessed
I am spiritual
But I’m not religious
I feel lost
Yet I know exactly where I am
I feel stimulated
But I procrastinate too much
I feel loved
But I don’t feel liked
I feel like new adventures
But I keep repeating the old ones
I feel sexual
But I don’t feel horny
I feel scared
But I’m not unnerved
I feel empowered
But I’m not powerful
I FEEL OLD
BUT I’M NOT THAT FUCKING OLD
