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auther photoThank you for logging in. I will be using this “blog” page to share words, thoughts, poems or songs….some old, some new….I hope you enjoy. Please feel free to contact me at any time.

 

 

 

Elimination of Negativity

Stephen Kaufman : April 1, 2019 9:14 am : SL Kaufman

 

Today’s blog takes me back to Book 1, Learning to Live Again, written over 7 years ago. Its sentiment continues to ring true today. I hope you enjoy.

I’ve reached a point in my life
Where I need to eliminate negativity
But it’s not that easy
When connections run deep

Because it’s difficult to dismiss
Those who have meant so much
And we still care and worry
Though we have moved ahead

Is it a need to be in control
Of things we never really could
Or is it the fear of allowing
Others to grow on their own

Letting go is difficult
When we perceive that others need
Our input and advice
And we see them struggling

Yet that is so horribly selfish
To think we know better than they do
And assuming they need us
To face their own new world

We must come to a place
Where the negatives that consume us
Can no longer do so
Because they only hold us back

Life is now too short
For us to try to change
What can’t be changed
And never will

There is a plan in place for us
And we need to embrace it
By concentrating on the positives
That are there for the taking

The most difficult part
Is to finally realize
That all the good that awaits us
Is what we deserve

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I’ve Missed You

Stephen Kaufman : March 5, 2019 8:55 am : SL Kaufman

Today’s blog takes me back to Book 4, Testing Love, written in 2015. Once again the photo is courtesy of Sandy Spindler (#sandyspindler)

I’VE MISSED YOU Ive Missed you - SL Kaufman

In the tumult of our lives
With work overwhelming
And compulsion reigning
I’ve missed you

On mornings without you
Sipping my coffee
While absorbing my words
I’ve missed you

On days spent at home
Working and dreaming
While you’ve redirected
I’ve missed you

On evenings spent apart
When I’m out with others
And you’re gathering family
I’ve missed you

When I’m ready to sleep
Without you beside me
In the loneliness of night
I’ve missed you

Even times we’re together
When you seem elsewhere
Distracted and afraid
I’ve missed you

In my times of confusion
When I need you there
To help me move forward
I’ve missed you

Though I know it is part
Of the journey we are on
To create our destiny
I’ve missed you

But I’m forever grateful
For the moments I’ve missed you
As they only remind me
Of how much I love you

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Today’s post and poem, FOR ANGIE, honors someone who left us way too soon

Stephen Kaufman : February 7, 2019 8:28 am : SL Kaufman

FOR ANGIE Angie Stephen Kaufman SL Kaufman

I lost someone this week
Who helped me through difficult times
But refused to let me
Help her through hers

A small group gathered last night
To hold each other and say goodbye
Which is something she didn’t want
But somehow I know she would have approved

And then again for me
After months of exclusion
I understood that I belonged
Knowing that she had always cared

A troubling few days
Coping with her death
And seeing how
It has profoundly affected me

At peace now leaving a legacy
Of beauty and love
In the hearts and minds
Of all she touched

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Winter is officially here and we’re about to turn the calendar over to 2019

Stephen Kaufman : December 31, 2018 8:47 am : SL Kaufman

I’m sharing this beautiful photo taken by my friend Gail Turner with a few poems I’ve written that actually rhyme.

Figuring it all out
And knowing what to do
To dispel all the doubt
That the damaged go through

I am not in it for sex
Or playing any game
It’s really not that complex
For we often are the same

I’m looking for a friend
To share time and space
And I needn’t defend
For this is a positive place

I have no desire to smother you
Only to share an adventure
Find another to mother you
For we have times ahead to treasure

**************************

She arrived unexpected
With style and grace
Catching me off guard
Unsure of my place

Over time we have connected
Though the agenda is unclear
But it’s beginning to feel right
So I’ll proceed without fear

****************************

Finally out together
Learning who we are
Celebrating her sale
With dinner near the bar

Ending perfectly
With a sweet goodnight
Then still feeling her hug
As I turned out the light

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Written this year of times past when memories have not faded but return with warmth and a touch of sadness

Stephen Kaufman : December 13, 2018 4:36 pm : SL Kaufman

Thank you, Jeanie Crenshaw, for a photo which perfectly captures these sentiments.

It’s been three years 
Since we last touched
Yet I still miss her
Terribly

No one before or since
Was capable or willing to love me
In the way that she did
Or comfort me in the way that I needed it

No one before or since
Became my partner and lover
As we helped each other
Reach plateaus not imagined

She dominates my dreams
And I think of her daily
Only with the warmth
Reserved for those now gone

Much has happened since
Illness and aging
Growing and learning
And now the tragedy of another

I will keep her within me forever
Not hoping to reconcile
But hoping one day we may find the time
To catch up

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Today’s poem, “Questioning Love” is from my last book “Learning to Live Again, 2017”

Stephen Kaufman : November 26, 2018 8:32 am : SL Kaufman

Today’s poem, “Questioning Love” is from my last book “Learning to Live Again, 2017” and its words, written in June of 2017 continue to ring true.

I know
That life is about love and fear
And right now I live in fear
While questioning love

So I need to understand love
In ways I haven’t really explored
Even though I had learned to love again
And found a love that still inhabits me

I have always looked at love
As a physical, passionate state
And that is missing right now
And possibly from now on

Sexuality played a big role
And that too does not always exist
Except within me and unavailable
To others

I need the touch of someone I love
As I stroke her hair
Kiss her gently
And take her softly to me

I had it
Lost it
And continue to suffer
Without it

Is learning to live again
Learning to live without love
Or learning to redefine love
In the age of the aged

I haven’t given up
I just don’t know
But I’m completely open
To the answers

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Today’s post is an unpublished poem written this year as I continue “Learning to Live Again”

Stephen Kaufman : November 3, 2018 10:20 am : SL Kaufman

We had a lovely dinner
Last night
And then decided
To walk over to Blue
 
I felt horribly uncomfortable
At a place which
Has almost defined my life
Since I arrived in Paradise
 
And it bothered me
And depressed me
Until I understood it
As I took my walk this morning
 
I am no longer the person I was
When I first arrived here
And no longer addicted to
Watching the hordes at play
 
I think I’ve outgrown the place
And not because of my age
But because of no longer needing
To troll among the lost
 
And it is clearly a sign
Of a new period of growth for me
As I continue on this path
Of learning to live again

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Where is my direction – S L Kaufman

Stephen Kaufman : October 11, 2018 1:48 pm : SL Kaufman

Where is my directionS L Kaufman
I don’t know
Should I make corrections
I don’t know
It’s so hard to understand
Hard for me to plan
How will I ever know
I need to know
Please let me know

CHORUS: The sands of time
Are running through my fingers
And the pace is fast
But the taste of life it never lingers
Today suddenly is past
It is past

What is my purpose
I don’t know
Will it all be worthless
I don’t know
It’s so hard to understand
Hard for me to plan
How will I ever know
I need to know
Please let me know

REPEAT CHORUS

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This year has proven to be an incredibly challenging one

Stephen Kaufman : October 1, 2018 9:15 am : SL Kaufman
This year has proven to be an incredibly challenging one. Again, I am sharing an unpublished poem from 2018.

It’s Monday after an uneventful weekend
And I’m sitting here with my morning coffee
Not at all sure what the week has in store
Which I guess is probably a good thing

Meeting new people but not yet clicking
Though I’m optimistic things will
But something within me is missing
And I need to spend time finding it

It’s as if I just arrived here
Ready to start over again
As virtually all past connections
Have been mutually abandoned

And that is not a bad thing
But rebuilding at my age
Carries a cost and a burden
That weighs heavily on my thinking

I have lost a step or two
Though my mind remains strong
And I understand the challenges

And will not shy from them
So I sit here on a Monday morning
Ready for my daily walk
And then planning a week
Which right now is an empty calendar
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The Haze has Lifted

Stephen Kaufman : September 12, 2018 11:20 am : SL Kaufman
Again I’m returning to Book 2 of my series “Transitioning” as I’m in a similar place today. Here is “The Haze has Lifted”.

Amazing place I’m in
Had shut down for a while
And enjoyed it
While I restructured

Gave too much of me
To everyone
With little in return
But no regrets

Needed this time here
To explore and feel
A new place
With unfamiliar people

Neglected some things
Lost some focus
Became too vulnerable
In the search for me

Comfortable in me
Focus restored
Priorities reestablished
Controlling my environment

Never lost my confidence
Just my faith
And more convinced than ever
It’s not me, it’s them

Have grown much
More aware of the strengths
And weaknesses
Within me

Was foggy here for a while
But the haze has lifted
And things are clearer
As my journey resumes

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