Our second date
At her home on the beach
Her fireplace warming a chilly night
But it never happened
We shared the sunset
Drinking the spirits of our soul
And we embraced
But it didn’t happen
I saw into her soul
And the words flew from my mind
Attaching themselves to her walls
Yet it wasn’t happening
I tasted her nectar
Sweet, succulent, delicious
And it filled me with her
Though it wasn’t supposed to happen
Her warmth comforted me while we slept
And on the morning after our second date
I, again, was filled with her
But it couldn’t have happened
We shared, we loved, we touched
Passion took us where we wanted to go
And we knew it was still there
Then, without explanation, it happened
It’s been quite a while
Since I’ve had any intimacy
And quite honestly
I miss it
It’s not about sex
Which of course
Is a necessary component
But not the most important one
It’s about holding another
While we sleep peacefully
And waking together
Happy that we did
It’s about a walk on the beach
An intimate dinner
Holding hands and hugging
With a deep kiss at sunset
It’s about talking and laughing
Sharing a sad movie
Looking at each other
And seeing into our souls
But mostly it’s about
Knowing instinctively
That this is the one
Who is supposed to be here
I’ve avoided the page
Though I’m not quite sure why
As things are in disarray
And I’m trying to reevaluate
Friends are disappointing
My social life non-existent
And I’m beginning to question
Whether I still want to be here
My life has been full
With tremendous ups and downs
A slew of relationships
But nothing like I’ve experienced here
Petty jealousies
Middle-aged middle schoolers
And fair weather friends
Lead me to question Paradise
Then again it could be me
For I’ve aged where doing so
Places me oddly on the outs
And uncomfortable with others
Being here has given me the opportunity
To grow as a person and author
And I’ve spoken of that growth
In five volumes of poetry
Yet in the relationships I’ve written about
Each was ended by the other
And each time I had been caught unaware
Despite the signs I refused to acknowledge
So naturally I am somewhat gun-shy
Hoping she is out there
But knowing also
That I am not the man I once was
I will continue to be patient
As I accept my lot
Hopeful yet understanding
That I cannot stand still
I’m continuing to share new writings from this year. My journey in 2018 has been fraught with complications and many days I have found myself questioning. This poem is from one of those days.
I’m feeling totally alienated
From this town
It’s people and perhaps even
From myself
Dealing with my situation
Has been often depressing
As I realize I’m on the downside
Without a support system
I was lifted a bit last night
While talking life
With my son and his gal
And feeling their love
My writing is still my lifeline
To the depth of my feelings
While also my legacy
To any it has touched
That thought alone inspires me
To continue on this path
Despite my misgivings
And understandable unsteadiness
For breakthroughs will be made
When the time is right
And patience is required
For patience will be rewarded
I am feeling more at peace now
Than I have in quite some time
And I can only attribute it to
My recent growth
I am accepting my age
Appreciating how uncomplicated my life is
And coming to grips with the fact
That I am on a different path
My past adventures remain past
And my new journey
Holds the promise of taking me to
Places of mind and spirit I am now ready for
