We had a lovely dinner
Last night
And then decided
To walk over to Blue
I felt horribly uncomfortable
At a place which
Has almost defined my life
Since I arrived in Paradise
And it bothered me
And depressed me
Until I understood it
As I took my walk this morning
I am no longer the person I was
When I first arrived here
And no longer addicted to
Watching the hordes at play
I think I’ve outgrown the place
And not because of my age
But because of no longer needing
To troll among the lost
And it is clearly a sign
Of a new period of growth for me
As I continue on this path
Of learning to live again
Where is my direction
I don’t know
Should I make corrections
I don’t know
It’s so hard to understand
Hard for me to plan
How will I ever know
I need to know
Please let me know
CHORUS: The sands of time
Are running through my fingers
And the pace is fast
But the taste of life it never lingers
Today suddenly is past
It is past
What is my purpose
I don’t know
Will it all be worthless
I don’t know
It’s so hard to understand
Hard for me to plan
How will I ever know
I need to know
Please let me know
REPEAT CHORUS
It’s Monday after an uneventful weekend
And I’m sitting here with my morning coffee
Not at all sure what the week has in store
Which I guess is probably a good thing
Meeting new people but not yet clicking
Though I’m optimistic things will
But something within me is missing
And I need to spend time finding it
It’s as if I just arrived here
Ready to start over again
As virtually all past connections
Have been mutually abandoned
And that is not a bad thing
But rebuilding at my age
Carries a cost and a burden
That weighs heavily on my thinking
Though my mind remains strong
And I understand the challenges
And will not shy from themSo I sit here on a Monday morning
Ready for my daily walk
And then planning a week
Which right now is an empty calendar
Amazing place I’m in
Had shut down for a while
And enjoyed it
While I restructured
Gave too much of me
To everyone
With little in return
But no regrets
Needed this time here
To explore and feel
A new place
With unfamiliar people
Neglected some things
Lost some focus
Became too vulnerable
In the search for me
Comfortable in me
Focus restored
Priorities reestablished
Controlling my environment
Never lost my confidence
Just my faith
And more convinced than ever
It’s not me, it’s them
Have grown much
More aware of the strengths
And weaknesses
Within me
Was foggy here for a while
But the haze has lifted
And things are clearer
As my journey resumes
I am returning to Book 2 in my series “Transitioning” because I am in a new phase of transitioning again. “There Comes a Time” fairly accurately portrays my current place.
There comes a time
In all our lives
When we make the choice
Which defines us
Age is irrelevant
For there is only the present
As past and futures merge
While life begins anew
Growth never ceases
For each day is a journey
On an uneven path
Towards our calling
It’s never easy
As fear and anxiety
For comfort of the known
Become pervasive and habitual
So we may pause at times
Often retreat
Reassess, revisit, rearrange
As we ponder our next step
And so today
I have made a choice
After a long pause
To take that next step
